A lovely woman I admire greatly asked how I was this week, she commented that I had been quiet. Another incredible lady said to me “Sometimes Cate, we just have to get out of our own way” . She was talking about herself as her current health has been harrowing lately, but her words also resonated with me.
The truth was I was in another funk.
My health at this time of year is quite frankly a biatch!
There is nothing more medically we can do but wait.. I had another infusion round in July. This time we decided while I had no taste or smell to head off on a holiday.
For me my meds journey is like waiting for a plane that keeps getting delayed. You are ready to go, not able to go back, or forward and stuck in a drab place until the announcement comes we are ready to board or the plane is cancelled!
It feels like the same roller coaster while my body repairs and the cells build. Meanwhile the other drugs knock me around and I feel stuck. Some days waking up worrying the “plane will be cancelled” and I’ll be stuck in this limbo forever.
I am blessed to do work that gets me up in the morning, with the birds chirping before sunrise, my clients making an effort to come to me each session, despite what may be going on in their world is still remarkable!
With my clients on my shoulder I headed away for our 10day break to Fiji and Melbourne with two goals to keep me occupied while waiting for my infusion –
1. to walk a marathon in a long weekend and
2. to stand up paddle board.
It was a euphoric feeling to do both. Neither were easy, the flip side was both came hand in hand with time in bed afterwards, back pain, knee pain, vomiting, nausea and migraines I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Who knows if it’s my meds, the travel, my aging, the constant change in temperature, pushing my limits or simply a bug… It really didn’t matter to me because the memories of both achievements made it all worth while!
Thankfully two lovely ladies reached out and their simple words encouragment reminded me this week to look at my situation differently. At least I am alive!
So I got out of my own way this week, celebrated another milestone of being alive, looked at all the beautiful messages of love and support from around the world and decided it was time to reflect and celebrate happy little moments!
Smiles and Hugs to everyone especially Phyllis and Ali, who gave me the gentle kick of encouragement I needed to get up and keep going!
Smiles and Hugs