Breathing is a miracle

Since our return from our most amazing fairytale trip I had been feeling a little off colour. We put it down to jet lag or travel fatigue. As the week went on I had no energy for returning to work yet just a few days before was so excited about returning to Christchurch and getting into doing what I love. My body had stood up well and the summer was looking bright. Riwai and I had even dusted off the tandem and my bikes ready to continue to embrace our beautiful countryside in style.

For the last two months I have had the most amazing ride which has meant many days of adrenaline rushes has probably kept me feeling well and feeling amazing. It seem this hormone (and bucket loads of positive thinking) has helped me through one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life.

I slept well, ate well, kept water by my side. I walked, worked-out, hula hooped, and swam in the sea. Every day I noticed small things, meditated and photographed nature, sunset and sunrises. I smiled, laughed and enjoyed being around loved ones and new friends….. my leap philosophy works and my new treatment seems to be working.

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24hrs ago I was taken by ambulance to our local emergency room. It appears that the unpredictability and side effects of my disease have reared their ugly head.

The mild mannered and trusting doctor said at 3:45am – “you are stable but there are many complications we must consider here”. It is the inflammation of your throat and lungs we need to treat, we need to help your immune system manage the reason for your asthma attacks without sending you into a flare. So a nebuliser, antibiotics, pain relief, super sized oral antiflams and the dreaded course of steroids and i am discharged home with bed rest.

So the next part of our journey is to manage the invisible side effects, we will find a balance with these too so i can get back to doing what I love to do.

It is these days that are so frustrating. The body accepts the new treatment and then struggles to cope with the adrenaline drop off. My immune system fighting to rid my body of bugs most likely picked up from the plane journeys. It is such a balancing act and side swipes so fast without warning. Today I slept and slept, I have already found a silver lining to this latest derailing – my flipside will be thanks to high prednisone i will be wide awake for most of the night. Thankfully I have time to write and it is a spectacular full moon so all will not be lost. I can catch up on my blog and all this rest has also caught me up on who won Masterchef Australia, and who are my favourites in The Block NZ.

So what .. I am frustrated knowing that my return to the gym, swimming an cycling will have to wait another week, my moon face will be with me for a few more months thanks to the steroids, my media will not look like me but i know the story is me and my hope is that my stories may inspire one person suffering to have hope.

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and despite my perceived setback, my frustrations will be so short lived – tonight i remember my loved ones and pause for your many loved ones who may not have the gift I was given last night.

I am breathing unaided today and I am eternally grateful for this gift.

Cx

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